Sound familiar? This is a common challenge parents/guardians have with their children, and could suggest a broader-based problem with Executive Functioning skills.

Executive functioning (EF) can be thought of as the brain’s “air traffic control system,” helping us manage information, focus attention, filter distractions, and shift between tasks (Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University). Executive function develops in the brain’s prefrontal cortex, but does not mature automatically with age. However, it can be shaped by experience and can be strengthened through direct teaching and support. Misunderstandings often arise when children with lagging EF skills are labeled as having “behavior problems,” when in reality they need explicit instruction and supportive strategies. With the right interventions, these students can build their EF skills and see reductions in challenging behaviors.

This specific example of the messy room is an issue of inhibitory control (the ability to resist temptations and distractions) and cognitive flexibility (the capacity to switch gears and adjust to changing demands). Cleaning up is always a least-preferred activity, which challenges students’ motivation and sustained attention to task. Children are often overwhelmed by the magnitude of cleaning up and the decision-making involved, which is paralyzing, leading them to distraction and falling prey to more tempting activities.

Support at School:

● All tools and materials have a designated space that is easily accessible to students at their eye level.

● Provide a visual of what “done” looks like. Students may have an image of their tidy desk, backpack, or locker. Cleaning up means making your space look like that image again.

● Provide warnings for transitions. Instead of just saying “5 more minutes,” which is abstract for students who struggle with the sweep of time, or counting down, which causes unnecessary stress, visual timers and schedules can help students anticipate what is next and when cleaning up is about to happen.

● Teachers provide explicit instruction in how to clean up and what it should look like.

● Each student is given a concrete task. For example: “Abby puts away pencils. Ben collects the papers. Cory puts the notebooks back on the shelf.”

Support at Home:

● Make the non-preferred activity more enjoyable. Play some music, a podcast, or an audiobook to provide more sensory stimulation and pair less pleasurable activities with something that is pleasurable.

● Set up your child for success by creating a highly organized home. Ensure your child’s possessions have a place where they belong and use clear storage containers so children can see the contents. Consider labeling the places where things belong with pictures and words. For example, have bins for certain types of toys. Use a label maker to put the names for drawer contents on the drawer so children know where to put pants versus socks.

● Provide a visual of what “done” looks like. Take a picture of their room, bathroom, or playroom when it is clean and tidy. Print and laminate the image and then post it in that space. That way, when they are cleaning up, they aren’t done until the space looks like the image.

● Provide warnings for transitions. Often, children struggle to stop a preferred task to move onto a non-preferred one, like cleaning up the preferred task. Visual timers can be helpful to show children how much longer they have before they need to clean up.

● Work together and delegate concrete tasks. For example: say, “You put the blocks in here and I’ll put the plastic animals in here.”

● Be flexible and consider alternatives. Consider what is negotiable. Does your child really need to hang their clothes or is a dresser sufficient? Would baskets be better than closed drawers?

● Engage your child in conversations about what gets in the way of cleaning up and problem-solve together to increase buy-in and motivation.

● Add an element of competition. Have your child estimate how long they expect a task to take, set the timer, and have them try to beat the clock.

For more information and tips about Executive Function disorders and supports, please contact DVFriends.

Delaware Valley Friends School (DVFriends) transforms education for bright students who learn differently. Serving grades 1–12, DVFriends offers a dynamic, student-centered program with expert teachers in an inclusive community, rooted in Quaker traditions, where every learner is known and valued. Grounded in proven, multisensory instruction, our program builds core academic and executive functioning skills while empowering students to become confident, independent learners. Beyond the classroom, students engage in a vibrant array of arts, athletics, service and leadership opportunities, and experiential learning. Learn more at DVFriends.org.

DVFriends Student Profile
​DVFriends serves students who live with one or more of the following:

● Specific Learning Disability
● Reading Disorder/Dyslexia
● Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder
● Executive Functioning Disorder
● Disorder of Written Expression/Dysgraphia
● Mathematics Disorder/Dyscalculia
● Auditory Processing Disorder
● Expressive/Receptive Language Disorder
● Memory or Processing Speed Challenges
● Non-Verbal Learning Disability